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Valen is sitting sipping his coffee still unaware of the events that are about to unfold. Sexy bear opens the door of the PATD and catches tandara?s eye. Nodding at the Madame bear, tandara nudges Cosmic's arm, and both smile as Sexy confidently strolls over to Valen's table.
"I hear you need a lesson on how to treat a lady, Oh Minbari Religious Icon!"
Sexy bear slaps a set of handcuffs on Valen.
Before Valen can say anything Sexy snaps her fingers, and two bear boy toys appear carrying a long pole. They easily hog tie Valen to the pole and hoist him up. The two are obviously experts with ropes!
Valen struggles in vain and starts to protest as the two bears walk slowly toward the door. Sexy bear takes the ornament that Tandara wanted to put on the tree and places it in Valen's mouth to muffle his complaining.
Tandara and Cosmic smile and wave as Valen passes them on the way out the door.
-
As he is being "escorted" out of the PATD, Valen gives his high priestess a panicked look and starts to plead his case to her. Unfortunately, all that comes out is a muffled "Muwmmmmmpf!!!!!"
Cosmic winks at him and says, "If I were a lady, I'd help you, Entil'zha, but apparantly I'm not, so you are on your own...but don't worry...Tan says that it's clean..."
http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/tongue.gif
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We live for the One, we die for the One....yeah, right!
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited December 18, 2000).]
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Sindatur and Blair Grey look at Valen and start rollin' on the floor with laughter.
Blair Grey looks at the gagged MRI and giggles, "Hey Boney, whatja got in your mouth their, looks like you're enjoying yourself for the most part. Tan did say it had been cleaned didn't she" http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/eek.gif
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
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Ignoring Valen's predicament, Merle was pondering an ornament for the Christmas tree. The Jewel of Judgment would be pretty, but since Dworkin had implanted it in Coral's eye socket, that was out of the question.
Merle thought a bit longer. Then a thought struck him. He crafted a spell, and a small object appeared in his hand. Merle approached the tree, staying clear of the vortex, and hung the replica of KTTY that he and Boikat had employed during the Quest in Ancient Baths II.
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It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.
-
Upon entering the PATD, Cranky passes Valen and his escorts. She first scratches her head in bear bewilderment, then starts to snicker as she surveys the situation. She waves a paw as he passes by.
Wandering over to the tree, she places a mini replica of Da Batmobile near Bmat's bear ornament.
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I'm not always cranky...I'm just written that way
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Nomad was enjoying the festive experience at the PATD. He saw what was happenoing to Valen who pleadingly mRumfff'd to Nomad as he was carried by him,.
Nomad felt sorry for Valen and pulled out his KoL to help. Nomad was about to cast a spell to relieve the torture (or was it torture???) when Nomad hair on the back of his neck stood out. He turned around and saw CT and Tandara glaring at him.
Nomad just whistled and used the KoL as a flashlight like he had lost something on the ground.
AHHHH...found it ....
Nomad opened a little doorway and pulled out a cool looking set of what looked like claws on a shaft about 4 inches long each. Nomad went over to the tree and hung them on the opposite side of the Vortex ornament on the tree.
Nomad stepped back and acticated the two pieces of orniment that acted in tandom...It was a JUMPGATE miniature!
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The beefy men take Valen down the stairs on his pole <well, not his, but the one he's ridin' on>(Bouncing him every step of the way, gagging him all the more) when Tan and Cosmic grab a bucket of ice, and dump it down his shorts.
Sindatur and Blair Grey just stand in the background giggling. Blair looks at Sindatur and asks, "Shouldn't we help him, he did draw the map to get us here to the new place and he is a friend"
Sindatur replies, "Yea, but, this is Tan and Cosmic we're talkin' about. Ya saw the way Nommy re-thought his position. Besides, he did show Cosmic a good time on her birthday, so it's only fair she should repay the favor"
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
[This message has been edited by sindatur (edited December 18, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by sindatur (edited December 18, 2000).]
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Message: After a long nap.
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Sep 19, 2000 16:18
Angry woke up. He stretched. He yawned. He scratched himself absentmindedly. He smacked his lips. <font size=-2>MRMPH!@##!@@@#!!!!$#%@^!</font> What was that? He wondered. A strange noise was coming from the front of the RV. Angry scratched his head again. What's that?
Well, he decided to settle back in for a bit more of a nap. <font size=-2>Mrpphmhp! Angry! Mforppfpp!!!!</font> There it was again. What was that? Angry decided it was nothing important and closed his eyes. He thought about his good dream, about swimming in a vat of Sammy! <font size=-2>Mrpmmphfff! Angry, mmssfttt Sammy ffsff smashed! Fffntrtt oaf!</font> Angry really wished that noise would go away. And something was beginning to stab him in the back, becoming almost painful in fact.
The noise from up front was getting louder too. Angry's eyes sprang open, when he heard, "Bmat, you'se snorin'! You'se stop dat right now!"
"Huh? Mmmmmm, Minbari bears don't snore, Cranky. You'se must be mistaken. Umm, besides, you'se hoggin' da bed. Move over!"
"Dat's cause you'se on da outside! I's ober here next to da wall, an' I'se can't breath! I'se needs more space!"
"You'se quits complainin'! We'se gonna switch tomorrow night, den you'se get's ta sleep on da outside!"
Cranky's voice was getting a little desperate. "I'se gots ta get outta here! I'se can't breath!" Well, Angry could understand that, what with being stuck between Bmat and the wall, up in that little bunk over the driver seat. Look how it sagged!
<font size=-2> Mfprrppp Angry! Mmmfpffo smashing me ;;;ghuuddf uuut uytt! Take that!</font> "Yeeeeeeeooooouuuuuucchhhh!" Cried Angry, in sudden pain, as something very sharp poked him very hard in the back. He came leaping off the little bed at the back of the RV, just as Cranky was making a mad scramble to get over Bmat. The two collided amidship, so to speak, while a very crumpled looking Sammy Bear pulled himself up from where Angry had been laying on him.
"Lookout!" Cried Angry, still not aware of what had stuck him in his nether regions! "Angry think bees in here!"
"I gots ta get outside!" Cranky was screaming, as she tried to get past Angry to the door. Meanwhile Angry was trying to put as much distance between himself and whatever stung him as possible. In other words, nobody was moving as they tried to go through/over/around each other.
"You'se be quiet down der!" Growled Bmat. "I'se tryin' ta get my beauty rest!"
"Help!" Was all Sammy could manage.
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Message: Its October!
Author: Posting fo Sammy Bear is - NOMAD Galileo
Date: Oct 4, 2000 13:43
Sammy finally rolled (crawled) out of the overstuffed bunk. He straighten up a bit when he got outside, with a laudible CRAAAACK. He scratched hi head...yawned a bit...then went WIDE EYED!
<font size =60> RRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR</font>
Sammy jumped back into the RV, threw Angry oout of the door...grabbed Bmat the Bear and slung her over his shoulders and ran into the woods...yelling that "THE BEER GODS OF THE WOODS ARE AWAKE". After that, all that could be heard was..." ow ow ow ow..put...ow...me...ow...down...Smm...mm..mmmy&quo t;. Sammy was now on a new mission.
It took a few minutes for Angry and Cranky to catch up. Craky was her usual....er...cranky self.
Why yous make us chase yous , Sammy?" says Craky.
"SHhhhhhh", says Sammy...."Listen".
Cranky and Bmat, who was still on Sammies shoulders, cupped their ears.
I'se dont hears nuthin, Sammy. Dis is not fun.
But Everyone turned to see a bear eanin' grin on Angries face. Angry took off like a bat out of hell and headed further into the forest toward a clearing. Sammy ran after him , with Bmat on his shoulders and Craky in tow.
As the all got out of the clearing....they read a big sign that was stung between some trees. It read
<font size = 70>OCTOBERFEST 2000
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Message: Bouncing up and down over Sammy's shoulder
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 4, 2000 21:19
Bmat the Minbari Bear had to hold on tight to her plastic bone crest to keep it from slipping off.
Bmat: "S-S-Sammmmyyyy!!! P-P-P-Puts me D-d-d-d-down will youse?"
Sammy didn't answer, but he did plop Bmat down on the ground with a thud and charged to the barrels of beer with his tongue hanging out.
Bmat oofed and stood up brushed dried leaves off of her. *muttering* "Crazy bear!!!"
Sammy and Angry both settled down at some picnic tables with gallon mugs of beer. Cranky carried over 4 footlong sausages for the group. Bmat picked up a pitcher of beer and of lemonade for their table. But Bmat's feet were soon tapping to the sound of the Polka!
She snapped her fingers (bears can snap fingers?) in time to the music and clapped along, singing with tremendous gusto and volume!
The other three at her table put their hands over their faces when Bmat hopped up to join in with the dancing. Sammy and Angry tried to be invisible, but Bmat peered out of narrowed eyes at Angry who sighed and pushed himself off of the bench. He took one last long swallow and let Bmat lead him into the dance area.
At first Angry stumbled around a bit and stepped on Bmat's feet. Bmat didn't mind since the bears weren't wearing shoes, so it didn't hurt. In fact one of the people in charge advanced upon the two and told them there was a firm rule about shoes having to be worn in the dancing area.
With a great sigh of relief regret Angry stopped trying to dance and started leaving the floor. Bmat held onto his paw tightly and bared her fangs at the intruder, who backed off.
With a sweet smile, and a yank, Angry found himself dancing again. He got the idea this time, and soon the two were flying around the other dancers.
Cranky and Sammy looked at each other speculatively, then they shrugged and ate all four sausages between them.
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Message: Angry found he enjoyed dancing
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Oct 11, 2000 16:03
It was a lot of fun actually, though probably more so for him than the seven other dancers he'd flattened in his exhuberance. Bmat and Angry careened around the dancefloor, polkaing with an enthusiasm that hadn't been seen since Paxton Pendergarten's Polka Kings played the Too Fat Polka for a visit by Roseanne.
Bmat and Angry were perplexed briefly, when a new song started, and everyone started making bird motions with their hands, flapping their arms, and wiggling their rear ends. The Chicken Dance apparently is unknown in beardom. They got the hang of it soon, though, and were flapping and wiggling with gusto! They were the unanymous choice for the top dancing couple prize. Angry was awarded a Bavarian hat with a little feather on the side of it, and Bmat won a cute bonnet that she proudly tied on over her bone crest. They were looking very much German upon returning to the table to finish their sausages.....
Angry looked at his empty plate. He looked at Sammy. Sammy covered his mouth and burped. Cranky whistled tunelessly while looking everywhere but at Bmat, who was glaring in a most un-Minbarilike way.
Finally, Sammy said. "Um, dey wuz gettin' cold, so we'se ate 'em. We wuz gonna get youse two fresh ones when youse gots done dancin'. Right, Cranky?"
"Um, yeahr, dat's it, Sammy. Dat wuz what we'se was gonna do. So, we'se goes and gets youse two some sausages and um we'se gets submore fer us too, right, Sammy?"
"Yeah! Um, and more Sammies, too!"
Bmat and Angry didn't believe them for a minute, but sat down anyway, saliva dripping out of their mouths waiting for their sausages....
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Message: Slurping down her lemonade
Author: Bmat, German Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 11, 2000 20:59
Bmat the German Minbari Bear mopped her brow and the drool that was accumulating on the table while she and Angry waited for their snack.
Soon Cranky and Sammy appear laden with 2 footlong sausages apiece and two more gallon mugs of beer and more pitchers of lemonade and beer.
The bears dove in with enthusiasm. Leaned back and burped grandly, then went back for thirds. By this time Bmat was starting to look a bit green aroung the gills.
"Urp....er....scuse me!: she said morosely. She held her tummy and grimaced. The others were looking pretty unhappy too. The all got up and advanced to the portapots. Bmat hung back. "I don wanna go inta one of those things- blech."
Cranky said:"Well dats OK- dere's a woods right over dere."
Bmat blinked- then got in line with a sigh, Then a groan. "owoooo- I gotta get in dere..." She casually bared her fangs a bit and the line of people waiting dispersed. She observed with a wry grin that the other three bears had employed the same tactics.
Later on all four were back in the Bego. Sammy was sprawled out on the drivers seat, eyes glazed, tongue lolling out..Similarly, Angry sprawled across the passenger seat. Cranky was sprawled across the little table. Bmat was sprawled across the bottom bunk.
They were not happy campers.
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Okay Merley, pour me a cold one, I'm here, and I think I'll need fortification to learn the new system.
Happy holidays to one and all!
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Sure, Ery, glad to! Here's a frosty Sammy, and join Nommy and me in the hot tub, okay?
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It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.
-
Taking up the drink Ran offered, Cosmic overhears Ery and thinks to herself, "Sooo...he went looking for outside help, eh? Wonder how, since no one can understand a thing he's saying?" http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/tongue.gif
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We live for the One, we die for the One....yeah, right!
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited December 19, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited December 19, 2000).]
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Sindatur begins to catch a pretty serious buzz and decides that maybe he should help Valen afterall, the torture has gone on long enough.
So with a raise of his wing and mighty puff of smoke he casts a spell.
Valen is instantly turned into a cheap hooker. Leather thigh high boots, trashy makeup, big hair and all. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Well, now at least he can enjoy his predicament.
Never thought I'd ever see a Minbari Prostitue
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
[This message has been edited by sindatur (edited December 19, 2000).]
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Surrounded by friends, AsIs thinks that it doesn't get any better than this! Holidays always make me reflective and drinks are on me until Xmas passes. I can't think of a better Holiday gift than friends like all of you!
Barkeep, some Bailey's Irish Cream!
And that tree is looking great!
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- "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see." - Sebastion, Babylon 5
- Really I am a woman...honest!
- Resident KiSA (Knight in Shining Armor!)
- I believe trust is more important than monogamy (Savage Garden - Affirmation)
- Namesake of AsIs the kitten!
- Member of the *Save Mary Beth* Club!
-
Surrounded by friends, AsIs thinks that it doesn't get any better than this! Holidays always make me reflective and drinks are on me until Xmas passes. I can't think of a better Holiday gift than friends like all of you!
Barkeep, some Bailey's Irish Cream!
And that tree is looking great!
------------------
- "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see." - Sebastion, Babylon 5
- Really I am a woman...honest!
- Resident KiSA (Knight in Shining Armor!)
- I believe trust is more important than monogamy (Savage Garden - Affirmation)
- Namesake of AsIs the kitten!
- Member of the *Save Mary Beth* Club!
-
Thanks, Azziz! Friends are what it's all about, right? http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif
Um...Can I get a margarita, please? On the rocks with salt?
[This message has been edited by Rowyn (edited December 19, 2000).]
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The Warrior Babe grabs the buzzed owl around it's neck while Cosmic takes the opportunity to pluck off a handful of his tailfeathers.
"The MRI got himself into this 'situation'...he's perfectly capable of getting himself out of it...if there is a way out of it."
The owl, after losing another handful of feathers, begins to see the error of his ways and returns the MRI to his previous predicament. Cosmic returns his feathers to him after Tan loosens her grip around his neck and he wanders off to an unoccupied table, pondering how to glue them back on.
Cosmic notices that Azziz is beginning to double post and hands her a cup of coffee to go with her Irish. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif
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Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
[This message has been edited by Cosmic (edited December 19, 2000).]
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Tandara smiles at Ran and walks over to his table. Hiya bud, I'd love to have a drink. What ever your drinking, I'm feeling adventurous!
Sexy Bear waves off the offer of a drink and follows Valen out the PATD doors.
She needs a level head for what she has in store for Bonehead http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
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"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Or owl! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/tongue.gif
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Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
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Please sit down Tan. I was just having a hot buttered rum. Excellent for this time of year. Then it's off to the hot tub. Care to join me?
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After seeing Valen in his rather undiginified position, it's fairly obvious whose good side to be on. Rantarn turns to Tan, Cosmic and Sexy Bear.
May I buy you ladies a drink? And I do not mean the term "ladies" loosely.
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Ummm, thank'ee Merley honey. Nothing better than sippin' in the ol' tub with you and Nommy... you don't mind, Nommy, I hope!
Gosh, I'd sort of promised Valen I'd help get him out of that jam he's in, but I confess I'm enjoying the sight too much! ROFL
http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
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Ery hops out of the hot tub long enough to grab a hot buttered rum. With the steaming drink in one hand she scurries to her motorcycle and crouches down beside the rear wheel. Tinkering with toolkit in hand, she unhooks the greasy chain and heads over to the Christmas tree. There she wraps the chain 'round the tree and steps back to admire the results.
What'cha think, gang? I was going to let Valen ride bitch on the back of my bike, but in that getup, he's a downright traffic nuisance, so I guess the chain'll do for my contribution to the Christmas festivities.
With that, the Red Witch heads back to the hot tub. Mind if I soak off a bit of this grease?
[This message has been edited by Erythrina (edited December 20, 2000).]
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Hehe Well Ery I'm sure Valen *wishes* he could be on the back of your bike but sence he's still hog tied to the pole that's not possible http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Mmmm... now where did I put that ridding crop?
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GEEZ, Tan and CT. Ya didn't need ta be so rough. He was still hogtied, still had his bonecrest and all, I just changed his appearance a bit, thought you'd appreciate it. And all ya had to do was ask, and I woulda changed him back.
Can I getya ladies a drink to make up for the misunderstanding??? http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
[This message has been edited by sindatur (edited December 20, 2000).]
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Oh, and I'm hurt CT. You know I'm a Grey owl, not a chicken.
Afterall, who ever heard of a 3 1/2 FT tall chicken who casts spells http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/smile.gif
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
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Sexy's "bear-boy toys" stop when they get to the car and set Valen down on the ground as they make room for him in the trunk. While they are busy, Valen manages to slide the bar up and out from between his legs and hands. The bear-boy toys are making so much racket that they don't hear him getting to his feet and hopping over to the wooded area just outside the PATD.
<font color="green">The Mistress told you to clean this out before we left! She's going to be peeved if she comes down and we don't have him stored away and the car temprature just right!</font>
<font color="blue">Hey... it's not my fault! She told me that she wanted the Pleasure Room cleaned and ready. I didn't have time to do both!</font>
After moving things around and clearing enough space, they turn to grab Valen.... <font color="blue">... UT-OH!</font>
Valen makes his way through the shrubs and trees to a small clearing. He hears a noise coming from around a tall tree. Suddenly out pops.... LOVER BEAR!
&%$#@?!...
<font color="gold">I'm sorry Master Valen, I couldn't quite get that last part. Would you mind repeating it again, please?</font>
A stern look from Valen made Lover Bear re-think his next move.
<font color="gold">..ummmm... here, let me help you out of those bonds.</font> Lover begins loosening the ropes.. <font color="gold"> I must say Master Valen, I was a bit surprised to find you out here, not to mention, tied up and with a...., what is that thing you have in your mouth?!</font>
The ropes loosened enough, Valen is able to get free and stands up.. reaching up, he pulls the "ornament" out of his mouth, a look of embarassment on his face, ... ..ummm.. oh this, ahhh.. it's nothing. Just a Christmas Tree decoration that Tandara and CosmicThing were going to put on the PATD Christmas Tree. Valen stuffs the object into his robe.. (vowing to give it back to the "ladies" personally!) Thanks Lover Bear.. I have to get back into the PATD and follow PC into the vortex, she's stolen the <font color="red">TRILUMINARY</FONT>, and I have to get it back on the tree by Christmas Eve or Santa might miss the PATD all together!
Valen dashes off... Lover Bear just stands there, looking after the Minbari. <font color="gold"> Strange creatures!</font> http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif
Stopping just outside the PATD, Valen peeks in to see if the way is clear. Damn.. people all over the place. I'm going to have to risk it...
Finding the vortex, hanging from the tree, Valen launches himself forward, and before anyone can grab him, he leaps into the vortex, and disappears from the PATD.
Meanwhile... back down the trail, at Sexy bears car...
<font color="blue">Honest Mistress Sexy, It wasn't my fault! We were attacked by bandits... yeah, that's it! There were hundreds of them! They came out of the woods and took the Minbari away with them!</font>
<font color="green">He's telling the truth Mistress! It wasn't our fault!</font>
Sexy Bear stands there, tapping the riding crop across the palm of her paw... http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/mad.gif
<font color="blue">.. ut-oh...</font> http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/eek.gif
[This message has been edited by Valen (edited December 20, 2000).]
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Hot buttered Rum thanks Ran!
Tandara walks over to Sindatur with some super glue...
Well I read the tube and I'd doesn't mention feathers but turn around and let me see if it works on an owl's butt!
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"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"
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Thanks Tan. Did anybody notice the MRI skulking around the Christmas tree a minute ago??
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Sindatur - The Grey owl Wizzard
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"Now hold on a sec, Owl...I never called you a chicken. I was just suggesting that you might be substituted for one...hehe."
Cosmic ponders the bird's dilema.
"Hmmm...I have a roll of duct tape, think that will help? Or perhaps a hot glue gun..."
Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Valen making a mad dash for the Christmas tree.
"Son of a...How did he get loose??!"
She makes her own mad dash to head him off, but is only able to get there in time to grab him by the foot. As he wriggles free and slips through the vortex, Cosmic is left standing there holding his shoe and sock.
"PEEEEEEUUUUUUUWWWWW! When was the last time Valen washed his feet??"
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We live for the One, we die for the One...yeah, right!
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Nomad steps out of the Hot tub and pulls a can of spray used at bowling alleys out. H takes the shoe from CT and sprays it. He then sprays it with real smelling evergreeen stink.
'OK....since the triluiminary is gone , for now, we shall sustitute it with this "other ornament".
Nomad puts the shoe on the tree.
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ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!
I'd suggest we put my special *ornament* on the tree, after all it does light up when turned on,but Valen seems to have taken it with him. http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
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"Kinky is using a feather ? Perverted is using the whole chicken"
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PC landed on a weird planet. The mountains where purple, the water green, and the air orange.
"Did I just land in a Dr. Seuss book?"
Just then PC witnessed a weird looking character go running by.
"This is interesting..."
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Commentary: Is Crash referring to Valen when she reports a "weird looking character"? Or is this strange new world peopled by even stranger beings?
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Hey, it was just a question!
Meanwhile, some music was coming from the vortex: <a href=http://www.thescifivine.com/~Merle_Zelazny/plumfary.mid>listen here.</a>
[This message has been edited by MerleZ (edited December 21, 2000).]
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Spying Valen infactuated with the Wood Nymph, PC giggles "He is sooo easy to fool."
After checking to see that the real triluminary was still safe in her pocket, PC jumped into the chocolate raft she made and floated down the root beer river (she had tasted it when she arrived)
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Commentary #2:
We've certainly reached a new level of absurdity here....I'm impressed! http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/wink.gif
And I'm with you Merle. I thought PC was talking about Valen when she mentioned "strange"...LOL! How's your shoeless foot doing Valen? http://www.hostboard.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
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We live for the One, we die for the One...yeah, right!
